PRIDEY’S LOCKDOWN LAMENTATIONS DAY 2

It is day 2 and I’ve already had enough. This is untenable. I kindly explained to my mother today that Netflix was invented for a reason, and that if she could go and do this ‘chilling’ they speak of it would be much appreciated. She countered by explaining that ‘owning me’ (a misconception that I allow her to labour under in the interests of a constant supply of Woolworths’ carrots) makes a Netflix subscription out of the realms of financial possibility. I almost considered taking a food cut to allow her to purchase the damn thing and be gone, but that was my emotions speaking. I have since reasoned that I shall create some alternative activities to keep her occupied elsewhere – whether that be nursing a few bruises of the physical or emotional variety, tidying up after I have broken in to the feed room (to find those elusive Woolworths’ carrots that I know must be there) or simply worrying about my wellbeing as I perform a convincing eye twitch. The one thing I am certain of is that I cannot deal with the mad woman at this intensity for 21 days. No sir! Something must be done…

Pridey xxx