Have you ever set your heart on moving up a grade or even jumping bigger at home, only to be told you’re not quite ready yet? Whether you’re brand new to riding or are out on the competition circuit most weekends, the gap between your expectations (what you think will happen) and reality (what actually happens) can leave you feeling disappointed.
The good news is that this happens to everyone – you’re not the only one! We all have ideas about how we’d like things to go, and we all get disappointed from time to time. The key is to set realistic expectations so that you can enjoy your riding journey and not feel like a failure.
Here, we look at what ‘realistic expectations’ really are to help us align as we set our goals for 2024.
Alignment
A lot of knowing whether your expectations are set appropriately comes down to your feelings about them.
When your expectations are too high, you can feel:
- Anxious
- A lot of pressure to perform
- Like you’re not good enough
When your expectations are too low, you can feel:
- Like you’re not achieving anything
- That there’s no point in trying
- Embarrassed
But, when your expectations are set ‘just right’ you can feel:
- Inspired and confident
- That you know what goals are realistic for you
- That you can see the progress you are making
Aligned expectations
Here are our tips for getting your expectations set at a level that is just right for you and your pony:
- Think critically
Many things we see online are filtered and sometimes even totally fake, so don’t believe everything you see and think critically about whether what is coming through on the screen is the reality or not. In general, people only share the best bits of their lives online, so looking at other people’s content is like looking at a highlights reel from their life – not reality. Remember this when setting goals for yourself and making them based on your reality, not the reality you see on Instagram.
- Embrace your unique self
All ponies are unique, and so are you! We all have our strengths and weaknesses, so we simply cannot ‘copy’ someone else’s goals or compare ourselves to them in any way. We all have our own challenges, so just compete with yourself, not other people. Set goals that work on your or your pony’s issues, and forget what everyone around you is doing.
- Talk about it
Chat to the adults involved in your riding about your expectations because their hopes for you might differ from yours. Your coach may feel you want to be a happy hacker for your whole life, when in reality, you are hoping this year will be your first competitive year. By talking to the adults around you who know how you ride, you will be able to set realistic goals and have their support along the way.
- Set mini goals
Setting big goals with a deadline way off in the future is a sure-fire way to demotivate yourself. Instead, set small goals that are achievable within a few weeks so that you can see progress against these. If you get just a tiny bit better each week, by the end of 2024, you’ll be a different rider!
- Celebrate every little thing
Remember, trying your best and putting in effort are achievements in and of themselves. Riding isn’t all about winning or perfect progress – it’s about spending time doing what you love, so make sure you celebrate every small step in the right direction.
Final thoughts
The journey of learning to ride is filled with highs and lows, and a lot of it involves huge psychological strength from you. Just remember, it’s not a race to the finish but a chance for you to learn and grow while doing something you love.
Get your expectations aligned with reality and set small goals to move you forward, and you’ll be astonished at the progress you can make.