A key element of your training with your horse has to be defining what success will look like for you. It doesn’t matter how other people define success, your own definition must match you and your horse and where you want to (realistically) get to. Creating your definition allows you to create a series of small goals taking you from where you are in your training now, to where you want to get to.
Understanding what you are looking to achieve, also means that you stay true to your values. If you know what you are seeking to achieve, then the opinions of others will matter much less. You need to decide if your definition of success is a great relationship with your horse, improving your accuracy around a jumping course or achieving a certain percentage in dressage. You can then focus on your goal, and the mini-goals that go into achieving it, and not worry about what everyone else is doing. Remaining focused also provides security for your horse, as he begins to understand more and more what it is that you are expecting of him. If we are unsure of what we are looking to achieve, our horse has no idea what he is supposed to do.
Finally, it can really help to write down your definition of success and to keep coming back to it on a regular basis. This way you can establish if you are remaining true to what you set out to do. This is not to say that your definition cannot change and expand, but simply that it needs to be something you reflect on and consciously choose to change.